A lot of you not only follow me on DeviantART but on YouTube as well and you may have noticed that I haven't uploaded anything for almost a year now. Its been very hard for me lately because of recent unfortunate events. Below explains almost everything as briefly as I can.
Here is why I've been gone and what's going to happen in the future:
(WARNING: IT GETS GRAPHIC AND PERSONAL. I HAVE NO PROBLEM SHARING IT BUT BE CAUTIOUS WHEN READING)
Well first things first; yik yak was a tool I used to anonymously test out jokes to see if they're funny. Before yik yak I just wrote them down on a Google doc. I posted a Conceal carry/gun control joke that said something like "oh shit, I just saw someone go into the boy's bathroom with a gun". This was supposed to be from the perspective of someone who was nervous around guns and how often they would be nervous if everyone around them had a weapon. Obviously I didn't put much context in the joke so it was up for interpretation.
After I posted it I went to work and about two hours later I heard a co worker say that the high school was on lock down. I didn't really think much of this because I didn't think I was involved at all. So I just went back to doing my job. Then I heard that there were loads of cops at the school
And every school and daycare was on lockdown too. So that worried me so I went to Facebook to ask what was happening. It didn't click that I was the cause until two police officers came into my work to question me. The said they weren't going to arrest me, so then after about 30 minutes of questions, they arrested me.
When I got to jail, the first thing they did that didn't involve paper work was they stripped me down completely naked. They left me with one police officer who laughed at me as he took me through the routine. (Lift your sack, squat and cough, spread your ass cheeks, all that)
After I'm thoroughly searched, he gave me my black and white jail uniform and crocks. Then he took me into my cell with my cell mates (who are some of the nicest people I've ever met). I was under a lot of pressure and I have anxiety that I have to take medication for, but the meds didn't help at all for what was about to happen.
The next day I was taken to a small room for video court (which is just like regular court but with Skype). The judge talked very fast and used words that I've never even heard of. I could see my mom and sister crying in the background. I understood two things: your bond is 25,000$ with bail of 2,500$; and the maximum possible punishment for me would be 10 years in prison for threatening a school with a gun/bomb. After it was over I just exploded into tears and I told the officer next to me that I'd rather be dead than go to prison. So, that prompted them to put me on suicide watch.
It's funny how much more you want to kill yourself after being put in solitary confinement and suicide watch in a jail. What they do is they strip you naked again, They put you in this oversized green bulletproof vest that's supposed to keep you from harming yourself. The vest goes from your shoulders to just below your belly button, so my genitals were as free and visible as genitalia could possibly be. Then they put you in solitary confinement in this VERY cold tiny room with a mattress wrapped in dirty plastic and a toilet. You aren't allowed any phone calls, or any sort of freedoms or privileges someone in jail could have. The only thing you're allowed is toilet paper and your frozen toes: and they keep you in there until they decide when you're better. I was crying, I was having panic attack after panic attack, and it was the first time I'd ever felt claustrophobic. They asked me if I wanted to talk to a mental health counselor. And of course I did. I wanted to talk to anyone I could possible talk to. I would have done anything to get out of that room. So when the guy got there, they took me into a room with him. I sat down and told him that I wasn't really thinking of killing myself, that it was just something I said out of fright. He listened and couldn't help but take many glances at my over exposed genitals. I was sitting on a chair so he could see literally everything that was going on down there. After the chat, they took me back to my little room. Again, no phone calls, I couldn't talk to my mom or sister, so I didn't know if I was ever getting out soon. Which made my panic attacks worse for the full 24 hours I was in there. No sleep.
Speaking of no sleep:
I should have mentioned earlier that all night long, the officers BLARE Christian rock. Which of course I'm not a fan of, but even if it was regular pop music, having woman and men scream lyrics into your eardrums at night ruins any kind of possibility of sleep.
The next day, after breakfast, they let me out of solitary confinement and back into my cell with my cell mates. I called my mom and my sister and they told me I was getting out later that day. Oh what a relief that was...
Later that afternoon, I started to realize how the media and newspapers where portraying me. Almost like a terrorist. They were saying that I personally threatened the school with a physical gun, and when they weren't saying that, they were saying that I called the school and threatened them. I heard from friends that Facebook was worse. They were saying things like I should be hanged in the courtyard, that I'm the scum of the earth, that im a creep. Some even seriously thought I had something to do with Megan Nicole's disappearance because I was sharing her photo on Facebook. It was terrible.
I'm court ordered not to use any form of social media. Including YouTube. So I haven't uploaded a drawing video for months. I couldn't leave the state so I missed some art shows. And later that week, I got an 80$ bill in the mail for the 30 minutes with the counselor.
Now its 8 months later in May of 2015 and I can happily say that my felony has been dropped and I can freely use the internet again. However, that doesn't mean that I can start making YouTube videos as often as I would like to. I have been assigned 80 hours of community service on top of the full time job I already had, which means I'm always tired, too tired to draw, too little time to make drawing videos.
I do have a project I'm working on when I feel well enough as you can see at the end of the video. I'm in the middle of drawing Daenerys Targaryen or Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones and I promise you I'm filming every minute of it. I have no idea when that video will be finished but unfortunately I can say that due to my situation it can't be any time soon. In other words, it will be months before my next video.
Thank you all for the support that I've already received and I hope you all understand and stick around. This isn't the end.
Listening to: Sips playing Prison Architect